Anu's Story

'We'll See Stars'

       "Was this world to be without stars, of only darkness and pain?” I asked wonderingly while staring up at the ceiling, seeing only complete emptiness. Jett looked up, inhaled deeply and said, "We'll see stars, Blaze. We'll see stars." I crawled closer to him in the midst of the icy night and muttered, "Freedom." He put his arm around my shoulder, pulled me closer and whispered into my ears, "Salvation."

       The sound of whips cracking lingered in our minds, it was not evanescent. I sucked on the blood gushing from one of my fresh wounds, the latest addition to my collection, and thought, "Our captors had tortured us long enough." Our scars had already burned deep into our souls. 

       We were together, we shared our pains, but even that could not act as a tourniquet. All we did was talk, scream, bleed. Repeat.

        After months of precarious planning, we timed our demonic captors' every move for the following few days and finally found a way out. We had just paved our path to freedom. Freedom to go back to our old lives, once again. Freedom to find out who we were meant to be. Freedom to do what we want. Freedom to wander around mindlessly knowing that there's no bars holding us back. Freedom to live. There was one problem, only one of us could get out.

        We were barred from the outside world for years. Restricted from everything everyone else could have...everything everyone else could do. For years, we only had each other, but now...we were to segregate.

        Jett looked into my eyes. He looked deep into my eyes and held his gaze for a few seconds. "How can you see into my eyes like open doors? Blurring and stirring the thoughts in my head, so that I can’t trust myself anymore?"  I wondered, keeping my eyes wide open until he was done with his version of mindreading. He knew that separating was the hardest thing we could do right now.

       "I can't go without you. I can't and I won't," I said. My tears were hot on my eyes, but they felt cold when they poured down like rain my face. Jett reached out, brushed off my tears and said in a shattering voice, "I know it's hard, but it's our only choice. It has to be you." Words could not explain how I felt when he muttered that last sentence, 'It has to be you. '

        For the first time after being stuck here in this wretched place, I saw him cry. Seeing Jett cry was like having your heart broken a million times over. I saw tears pouring down his face, and I guess that killed me a little.

        He sighed and said, "They'll be back in five more days, less if they change their minds. You can come back for me when you're safe and have told someone what’s going on here. "I turned away from Jett and looked blankly at the space in front of me ."Blaze," he began to say, "Blaze. I'm not going to burden you. All I want is for you to be free."

        I was alone in the darkness, just like Jett was. Running through the empty night, with the wind blowing through my hair, I felt so free. I felt free, but I also felt something was missing. A part of me. "Is this what it feels like to be free?"  I wondered.

        I was no masochist. Never in my life have I taken pleasure from pain, but tonight...tonight was different. The feeling of sharp objects piercing through my bare feet, was somewhat relieving. “If only Jett was here to feel this,” I thought.

        Using the scraps of money I had, I bought a cheap room in the middle of the ghost town I had wandered into. I stumbled up the stairs to my room. I took a deep breath and ended up choking on the heart-wrenching stench. It smelt like a decaying corpse. The room was tiny. The wallpaper was damp and seemed to have some sort of fungus spreading over it. There was a creaky old bed in the middle. I could see the rotting carcass of a rat lying on the corner of the floor. “There goes my dinner,” I thought.

        I dozed off and I was soon taken back to how this hellish nightmare swept over me.

        Gravestones. It's dusk. I'm kneeling before my elder sister's grave, I ask her spirit for guidance. Eerie sounds fill my ears, as if beckoning me to come and join the dead. I somehow hear my sister's voice. I don't find it creepy, at all, that she's been dead for a almost a month now, but she’s saying something to me. She's screaming, "Blaze!". I draw in a weird scent, and seconds later, the world is spinning under my feet. Everything I see or hear is distorted. I collapse onto the ground. I feel someone's presence behind me. I black out.

        At the break of dawn, I start towards my family home. I see a board pointing towards 'Mist Street' and head in that direction.

        My parents were getting ready for lunch. The smell of steak searing on the grill made me explode with jealousy. "Was this heaven?” I asked myself. They looked so happy. Of course they were, they were free and they had each other. "I should be happy for them," I told myself and forced a smile. Only one thing bothered me, there was another girl wearing my old clothes, and my mom called her 'Blaze'.

        I walk into their backyard. Our backyard. My mom instantly runs after me, instinctively calling me 'Raphaela'. Raphaela, my middle name. They replaced me. Angered by the thought, I don't speak to her. Even though I see her lips moving rapidly, I don’t say a word. Nothing she says enters my head. I let her embrace me. I then shake my head as if saying "No," hoping that my parents know what I'm getting at. I then barge into my old room. "Glad to know you're still the same," I say out loud. The night soon followed and I fell asleep.

        I could see Jett. He was shirtless, more scars were covering his chest. He was looking up at the ceiling. His fingers trace the word 'Blaze,' which he had engraved onto his arm before I left. I had 'Jett' on mine. He was looking up, but he couldn't see anything. He couldn't see stars...

        Jett said, "We'll see stars," not that 'I' would. He said 'we'. I have to go back for him. I don't care if I die trying, but I'm going to get him out. I couldn't just leave him there. He was my best friend, my brother and sometimes even my father. He sacrificed himself for me. I couldn't leave him.

        I closed my eyes and thought of my way back in. I then packed what I needed, stepped outside and looked up at the night sky. I looked at the stars and whispered into the darkness of the night, "We'll see stars, Jett. We'll see stars."

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Trisyia's Story

                                                        ▲    In The Dark   ▲  

     Music blaring through the speakers everywhere, almost deafening but bearable, enjoyable even. Homecoming was off the roof, literally. I danced like there was no  tomorrow with my partner. Her arms were in the air like some kind of helicopter blades while holding a cup that contained a fermented beverage, dancing to some song that everyone has been talking about ever since it came on.

Then I felt something tingling in my gut. That was it. I dragged my partner to the men’s room and ordered her to stay outside as I heave my intestinal fortitude into the toilet bowl. Yes, it was that bad.

Quickly I got out and gathered my partner and requested her to help me home. On the way out people were praising and chanting my name. I was partially bewildered yet gleeful. What happened? Did I win for an Emmy or something? “Yo! MY KING! ,” One of my classmate chanted. That was when I got the real issue, I was homecoming king. I was not surprised. I was Prom king last year, School’s Vice president and now Homecoming king. Sweet.

It all has passed. Today is just another day of reality. It has been a few years ever since high school ended for me. It was the absolute greatest years of my life. But now I just feel empty in my high quality condo. Sure I’m successful, way above your imaginations. I’m a huge business owner for goodness sake.

But that was it. Call me ungrateful. I’m just filled in complete agony. I couldn’t share any of my accomplishments with anybody. That was the only complication that I had to face.

 Every time I try to find a decent companion, I can tell they did not respect nor appreciate my affection towards all of them. They yearn the success that I earned and owned. 

Love. That was the only thing I need. Easier said than done. 

What’s the matter with family you say? They clearly abhor me. Ever since I moved my destination to stay they were completely against my resolution. Every time the case was brought towards the dinner table my old folks just had their eyes rolled, whereas my brother kept quiet through the whole controversy.

“So I was thinking, maybe the idea of moving and to establish my flourishing call isn’t so bad at all,” I suggested. They lost it. Chaos was made. Quickly I took the opportunity to escape to my room. I snagged my suitcase and loaded my necessities into it and most importantly money. I used my plastic money, it was so convenient. 

So here I am, I temporarily rented an apartment to just have a place to sleep. Once my business flourished even more. I could afford more than just an apartment, just name it.Despite all the depressing moments I had breathed through out the years I had some light to hold on to.

Last month, an adolescent fine lady came by to visit. Not to youthful but about 2 years younger than myself. I didn't recognise her at all. She knocked on my coloured brown door. “Mr.- um Mr. Sykes? There was a packaging on my door that has your name plastered onto it.” Her lovely voice rang.

I hurriedly snagged the door open.

“Oh… So you live next to me?”, I beckoned her.

“Thats what my door says,” She replied goofily while motioning towards her silly sign on the door that says ‘Hey I’m you’re neighbour!!! Hi neighbour’ as it was refereed towards myself.

“okay then thanks”, I took hold of the parcel and brought it inside while she went back to her condo.

“Wait, can I get your name? I mean since were neighbours why not right?”. I started to get fidgety, my hands started to sweat like a gallon of water.

“Melanie, Melanie Martinez”, then she finally entered her humble abode.

I shut the door, leaned on the door and sighed good vibes as i slid down onto a squat. 

That was the hope i held onto from now.

Nurul Najihah's Story

  The day started ordinary as the door had been knocked. “Marilyn, it’s already 10”, said my mother. Today is a massive day, I still can’t believe this is happening in my life. I took a bath right away and wear the clothes that my mother bought yesterday. I was trying to reach for Doug that promised to be my companion but to no avail. 

         “Mom, I’ll be going now!”, I shouted as I jumped into the car waiting for Doug. I stared the flyer in my hand intensely followed with a wide smile. Doug, my beloved best friend knew that I am one of the Die Hard fan of the singer called Pharell Smith. Thanks to Doug I get the VIP seats for the concert, moreover at the end of the concert the Manager of the show will choose one of the audience  to get a special prize where that lucky winner will get to have a candle-light dinner date with Pharell Smith. But, it makes me wondered how Doug get the tickets that cost almost a thousand. I tried to called Doug again but he’s not answering. Car’s watch shows 12 sharp, it’s running late! I better go.

      The roads were crowded with fans along with the banner on their hands including the picture of Pharell Smith. I envy of them which I should do that too. But it doesn’t matter because I’ve got a VIP seats that obviously they couldn’t afford. Beep! A message came shows ‘Hey Lyn! I’m Sorry I couldn’t make it for today, I have to do my works. Anyway, did you wear the clothes that I bought for you yesterday?’ Doug asked as if it’s an important. But I don’t have time to replied as I saw the others rushed going inside the theatre.

      Thanks to Doug, I got a perfect view of the stage. The stage is well organised as i imagined. Soon after, the only dim light comes from the stage. Someone appear from the backstage caused non-stop applause and cheer from the audience including me. Pharell Smith with a pair of black jeans along with a white shirt makes me speechless. We wear the same style from head to toe. The theme is black and white. Is this my destiny? I started to daydreaming.

     He starts singing calmly as he sat on the stool with a guitar in his hand. The melody goes well with his calm expression and I could feel that he’s staring at me. The concert ends right after all his songs sung. Pharell Smith starts giving a short appreciation for the attendance.

   “It’s time to reveal the results which, Pharell Smith himself will choose the lucky girl to be her date”. The manager gave a speech which makes everyone screaming enthusiastically saying ‘me!’. How great it will be if I got chosen. That’s one of the reason why I want to be here. From my seat I could see that Pharell starts to look around and stops in my eyes for a moment. Will it be me because we are wearing a similar outfit. In a blink of eye, he jumps from the stage which was very unexpected idea. 

      He walked towards me and held my hand tightly. I still can’t believe this! Is this a dream or this is the truth? He whispered romantically “ Will you be my date?”. For a moment I stared his eyes down to his lips. He seems familiar to me. Not a strangers, it’s someone that I know. Could it be him? But why now? To know the truth I rudely bring his hand right in front of my eye. It’s real! How come I don’t realise after all this years?

      With tears streaming down my face I ran without looking back.  How could you fooled me for all these 3 years?. I started on the engine car and drive randomly. But there’s one place that may comfort my sadness. The time strikes 3.40 afternoon as I arrived. The sound of the ocean released my tension and empty up my mind. 

      Doug is such a liar! But why did he do this? The ring that I saw earlier is real, it’s our friendship ring. We promised that we would never lose them or not wearing them. All of sudden I could feel someone’s touching my shoulder that makes me turn back. It’s him. 

    “We don’t have anything to discuss!” I stared his clothes. They were same as mine and the one that I wear now is from him. It’s too obvious that he’s the artist. Shame on me that after all this years I didn’t notice this simple thing. Every Sunday he was needed to be in in grandma’s but the truth is he’s going to preparing  his concert. And every time I asked him to hang out with my family he’s way too busy and  couldn’t make it. With all possible reasons i trusted him. Am I still his fan because of his voice? If I know Pharell Smith is Doug and Doug is Pharell Smith, I should have asked him for a date at the first place. 

    “I know it’s my mistake, but now I realise that all my wrongdoings will hurt you later. I’m sorry for all this matter, but I just want to say that, I think I wanna have a date with you, because you made me realise what is life when there is no love…”, confessed Doug hoping that I would forgive him. I can’t hold it any longer. Doug that I know have a matted hair, a shabby clothes and doesn’t have makeup, but now he dress neatly and no more matted hair, instead a jewelry hair.

     “Alright, I’ll forgive you, but you need to promise me that there’s no more secrets among us” As I said that we did a pinky promise and hugged. Above all, all my dreams is come true and now he’s officially become my guardian angel that will now walk along my comfort zone.

     

       

Mel's Story

MY STORY

Don’t ask me why I did this. Don’t ask me why this happened to me despite having a life that everyone envied. Don’t judge me as you don’t know the real reason why. People around me always tell me how lucky I am to live such a happy and carefree life but they don’t know all of this was just a facade. What people don’t know is that I have another side of me that is only for me to know. I have kept a big secret from people around me especially my family and friends. 

It started when I fell sick for days and had even vomited blood, that was when I decided to go to the hospital to get a checkup. I had my blood taken to be tested then waited for the results. I thought it was just a normal flu people get every day and I would be given medicine for it but little did I know, in a few hours my life would change. When the nurse told me to go inside the doctor’s office, the adrenaline came rushing. I sat down on one of the chairs in the room and what the doctor told me made my world crash.

 “I don’t know how to say this but you have a growing tumour in your brain and you only have 3 months to live”.

I said “Okay, We could carry out surgery right?”

 

The doctor told me it was impossible as it would be a life threatening surgery and it could kill me instead of curing me. I was really devastated because all my hopes and dreams were crushed. I didn’t want anyone to know as I was afraid that they would feel sorrowful.

As I was sick often, obviously I should be resting but I didn’t want my parents to know so I went to school regardless of feeling pain. I could not concentrate in class and on numerous occasion, I was late to hand in my assignments. When the exam week came, I didn’t get to complete most of my exam papers since the pain in my head started to get stronger every day. 

When it was the day of the results to come out, I was extremely nervous as I know I would not succeed all my subjects with flying colours. As I was heading to the classroom, my homeroom teacher called me to her staffroom to talk about my results.

“Is something wrong? Why are your results dropping suddenly at the most important year in your life? You used to get A’s in your exams but what happened?”.

“It’s nothing miss, I think I didn’t do enough revision. I promise you that I will get higher marks in the end of year examination compare to now”. 

“That is if I would still be alive by then” , I thought sadly to myself.

As the school bell rang, I went straight home and what I didn’t expect was my parents to sit on the sofa with my result in my mother’s hands. I was expecting them to get angry at me but I was surprised when they said, “It’s okay honey, you will do better next time. I believe in you”.

When my mum said that I cried and said I was sorry that disappointed them. They encouraged me to do better next time but the secret that I kept from them suddenly crossed my mind. That day I decided to tell my parents that I have a tumour in my brain, saying they were overwhelmed with sadness would be an understatement. Mother cried all night while father told me it was going to be okay and that he would do anything to get the tumour out. He called his friend who was a doctor and told him about my condition. Miraculously, his friend said that he’ll be willing to do the surgery but it could be life threatening. At first I didn’t want to do it but after all the thoughts of leaving my parents behind, not having the chance to fulfil my dream, I decided to go along with the operation even though it could cost me my life.

After 6 hours in the operating theatre, 24 hours of unconsciousness and a month in the hospital, it turned out not to be a waste of time as it was a successful surgery. After a week of rest, I can finally go to school, see my friends and live the life of a healthy person.

From the day I got diagnosed, all I ever thought was ‘ what do I want more than anything in this world’,  I spent weeks trying to figure it out but I was so busy keeping my secret from everyone that I don’t realise all I ever wanted was in front of me all along. 

It took me to be diagnosed with a tumour to realise that my family’s love was enough for me to fight for my life and also my friends’.