“Mom, when are you going to be
here?” I called her on the phone, as all the orchestra members waited behind
the heavy curtains. The maestro peeked a look from behind the curtains and
mouthed that a lot of people have arrived. “I can’t drive fast due to the heavy
snow,” she explained and at that moment, I was worried about her. “Drive
carefully, mom,” I told her, when the maestro signaled us to be ready, I said
“It’s about to start, gotta go now,” I ended the call after she wished me good
luck for my first ever performance.
The orchestra members quickly
went to their respective places. My nervousness grew as I felt a cold sweat on
my hands. The curtains were slowly raised up, exposing us. The audience gave a
long, generous applause as the maestro bowed and we soon followed after. I
scanned through the audience and my eyes fell on empty place where my mom was
supposed to be. I hope she can arrive here safely, I thought. The maestro
turned to us and raised his baton, and the drums started to beat. I placed the
violin on my left shoulder and held the bow gracefully as I moved it along the
strings, perfectly synchronized with other instruments. The combination of the
instruments made such a beautiful and soothing sounds and I was instantly
captivated by it.
Time flew so fast whenever I
immersed myself into the music and by the time I knew it, the performance was
already over. I was glad the performance impeccably went by. I glanced over the
audience and got worried when the seat was still unoccupied. It was disheartening
the fact that she missed it. Everyone stood up and bowed again, as the curtains
were lowered down.
I went to the backstage right
away to check my phone. I could hear the familiar ringtone of my phone and saw
the incoming call from my father. I took a quick breath and slid it to the
right. “Hell-“ He cut me and persisted with his cold, discontent voice, “Your
mother got into an accident,” he hung up, without giving me any explanation. My
heart sank and I can feel my hands shaking by itself. Panicking, I hastily
rushed outside and drove to the hospital.
I was drenched in sweat when I
arrived. My father was sitting in front of the operation room and I stopped
when he glanced at me, his eyes filled with hatred. He wasn’t like this before
but after I opted for music over education, something he thought the only way
to succeed, he started to disapprove me and saw me as a failure.
I sat a distance away from,
not wanting to trigger him shouting me, especially in this silence corridor.
Neither of us wanted to speak with each other. The silence broke out when my
father spoke, “Give up the violin.” I was taken aback by what he just said. I
felt miserable enough of the accident and now he demanded me to give up violin?
Music is my hope, my only way to escape from this corrupted, insensitive mind
of his. I swallowed the lump in my throat, “No,” I told him, courageously,
though deep in my heart, I was afraid he vent out his anger on me.
“Your mother got into accident
because of you. All because of your stupid performance,” He told me cruelly.
Each word that came out of him was filled with disgust and loathe. I flinched
when he stood up suddenly, he must be couldn’t stand the sight of me.
“Elise.” Even the way he said
my name was cold and unfriendly. He ended the conversation, “You won’t be
successful. You would do well to remember that.” He swiftly turned away and
left me behind in the silent, empty corridor. I tightened my grip to hold back
the tears and let out a shaky breath. Thinking about my unconscious mother in
the operating room, and the fact I have to give up violin because of him was
disheartening and heartbreaking. The
amount of sadness I felt was uncontrollable, I didn’t realized my tears escaped
from my eyes.
I whispered quietly, “All I want is to be
free.”
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