I reached the bus stop in the
middle of the night after running away from home and from my dad who worked as
a loan shark. I felt very sorry for leaving my beloved mother but there was
nothing I could do now. I hoped she would understand me after she read my
letter that I had left on my desk. I planned to go somewhere no one knows me,
maybe even to the temple for meditating. On the way to my destination which I
haven’t decided yet, I saw a man slapping a woman in public. I wanted to help
the woman but I felt so sick and tired of that kind of scene because I saw it
every single day. Then I suddenly felt
so depressed that I thought of suicide.
I woke up to the
sound of someone calling my name and I could taste medicine in my mouth. My
eyes hurt so much that I had to opened it slowly and then I saw the image of my
form teacher. I look around the room and realized that I was in a hospital.
Soon after my memory
came back, I suddenly felt so frustrated that I started to asked continuously
"
Why am I not dead yet? " while kicking and punching the air since my hand was injected with intravenous
fluids.
Then a doctor came in and calmed me down by injecting something on my hand.
After a few seconds, I passed out on the hospital bed. I woke up again by myself this time but it
was night time already so I realized that I must have been asleep for a long
time since it was still bright when I first woke up.
My form teacher was
still with me but she was asleep while putting her head down on her hand which
was supported on the side of my bed. Since I didn’t want to wake her up so I
slowly sat up to pour myself a cup of water. However before I could get to the
cup, she suddenly woke up and quickly asked me how I felt and what I needed. I
told her that I wanted to drink but I didn't tell her how I felt since I was so
thirsty already so she just helped me. After I finished drinking within a few
seconds, she asked me again but softly “What had happened to you? Please tell
me so that I could at least help you to go through your situation right now.
" I hesitated at first and then I decided to just tell her but I told her
to promise me not to tell anyone even my parents.
I told my form teacher that I will tell my story
of what had made me decided to suicide
now. At age 8, I saw my parents arguing
non stop and sometimes my dad even slapped my mom. For 7 years, I kept on seeing
the same thing every single day so I told myself that when I grew up I would leave
this house forever. Once, my dad even brought me to see how he took
back borrowed money from people by threatening, punching and hitting and I
could even pictured it in my mind. I didn't have a lot of friends in school
because no one is brave enough to come near me since I was a loan shark son
which is also name given by most of the students in school. I felt very
miserable with so many bad things happened in my life so I couldn't really
concentrate on my studies. I only had a few close friends who recognized me
from primary school and they knew that I am not like my dad. When I went out to
public, people also recognized me as son of a loan shark and not as an ordinary
boy since my dad was so famous of giving people with high rates of interest and
words can pass from one person to another very quickly so I rarely went out to
public anymore.
Every time when my
mom brought me out for shopping, she will meet a friend as she works as a
famous stylist and that friend will ask her what is dad's job. She is too
embarrassed to say the truth so she just said an officer. She got very sick and
tired of answering the false answer every time so she asked my dad to quit his
job as soon as possible and he did agreed but it never happened. On the day of
suicide, I got scolded by science teacher for not passing up my homework when I
told him I had done it already and I did brought it to school but when I came
back from the canteen during break time, it was gone. Then after school, one of
my close friend told me that it was a boy from another class who took away my
homework for revenged to my dad and this incident had happened not only for the
first time but I just ignored the incident as usual and went back to my house
to redo my homework again.
Luckily when I
reached my house, my dad is still not home yet so it's a very peaceful
afternoon. However after I fell asleep for a few hours at night, I suddenly
heard screaming and shouting downstairs so I quickly wore my slippers and went
down to look. It was my parents and at the moment I reached the staircase I saw
my dad slapped my mom. I wanted to go and help her but I knew I would get
scolded and hit by my dad which my mom would always protect me so I just stood
there and cried. I couldn't stand it anymore so I decided that this is the day
I left this house forever and never come back until my dad quit working as a
loan shark. Then I wrote a letter to my mom, packed up and made my way out
quietly through the back door without turning back again. When I reached the
bus stop, I boarded the bus and saw again that a man slapped a woman in public.
I felt so angry and sad that I decided to suicide.
After I finished the
story, my form teacher was already crying and she told me that I am such a
stupid boy as killing myself doesn't mean that I had solved all the problems.
Suddenly, both my parents came into the room and hugged me tightly while crying
so I thought they must have been outside listening to my story all along since
the door doesn't make a creaked sound when they came in. Then dad broke away
from the hug and swore in front of me that from now on he would never be a loan
shark anymore. After a few days resting at home, I went back to school and I
was so surprised that everyone threw a party for me to welcome me back to
school and no one called me son of a loan shark anymore. The most happiest
thing that my dad had ever done for me is that all the people who borrowed
money from him could only pay back the borrowed amount without any interest and
he even said sorry to everyone in public.
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